kickstart is what your looking for.. see here.. https://github.com/mark-cohen/ARD-kickstart plenty more around. .note that ARD needs networks to be visible..  without NAT etc... 

Depending on your OS, that may or may not work. From my experience, you’ll need to send a MDM command to enable Remote Desktop for it to work (for any “modern” OS). 

I wrote an API call to do that because I got tired of having to enable it on every machine manually. 

You can enable screensharing with a MDM command in the inventory record simply enough. Make sure you are not blocking screen sharing with a config profile. The other stuff can be enabled via CLI simply enough.

Below is an answer I got from Apple some time back involving managing screen sharing which may be helpful.

• You can use this command to view the available options for the 'kickstart' command:

sudo /System/Library/CoreServices/RemoteManagement/ARDAgent.app/Contents/Resources/kickstart -help

• You can use this command to change the Remote Management "Allow access for" setting from "All users" to "Only these users" (the users must be specified in a separate command).

sudo /System/Library/CoreServices/RemoteManagement/ARDAgent.app/Contents/Resources/kickstart -configure -allowAccessFor -specifiedUsers

• You can use this command to add users named "bob" and "mike" to the "Only these users" list with all available privileges enabled:

sudo /System/Library/CoreServices/RemoteManagement/ARDAgent.app/Contents/Resources/kickstart -configure -access -on -privs -all -users bob,mike

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